The Proposal

A lot of people are asking: How did she propose? Instead of trying to explain the story hundreds of times, I decided to write a blog post with pictures.

First- Meet Jenn (for my friends who never met her)

Jenn on the Farm

Jenn is a beautiful and amazing person. She grew up in a small town in Iowa. When she graduated from her high school, she decided to head east and study at Georgetown University in Washington DC. After college, she stayed in DC and started working for a non-profit that does financing for low-income housing projects. In 2010 she decided to go back to school for a Masters in Social Work at Catholic University of America. In May she graduated from there and she moved up to Princeton, NJ where I currently attend seminary. At the moment, she is working on a nearby farm and studying for her NJ Social Work Licensing Exam, which she will take next month.

Second- First Proposal

Last October, we decided one weekend that we should get married. The next weekend after thinking and talking to a couple friends, I proposed. I had an elaborate plan of making her dinner and asking her. But when I walked in the front door I couldn't wait. Right thn I asked her with a ring I had bought from a craft store and a hand-drawn picture. I even put the ring on the wrong hand because I was nervous.

She decided she wanted to propose to me before we became officially engaged.

A picture of us from last Sunday

Back in July we figured out when we would celebrate 500 days of dating in August. (We had once watched 500 Days of Summer together. That movie does not resemble our relationship, but I love numbers and statistics.)

Two nights ago I double checked when 500 days thinking it was yesterday, August 7th, but Jenn showed me it was the next day, the 8th.

Third- Second Proposal

Yesterday I was away at a meeting on campus when Jenn came home from work. She texted me asking for personal time and asked that I would return home later, which was no problem. Then she asked me to bring home ice cream and I knew at that moment she would ask me. (I had expected she would proposed to me sometime in August and that she might do it on 500 days, then the ice cream was the hint).

I returned home with Ben & Jerry's to candles burning and homemade pizza in the oven. She looked beautiful as ever!

Reading the notebook Jenn wrote me

After dinner, she gave me a present for our 500 days! It was a little notebook with 500 things she loves about me! I stopped reading at #49 (which was that I am her best friend) because I was tearing up. She asked, "Aren't you going to keep reading?"

"Do I need to? Or should I read the last one?"

"Well I didn't write it in there.... Will you?"

"Yes"

We called her parents, then my parents, her siblings, then my siblings, our grandparents. Then we made it Facebook-official. (It isn't official until it is on Facebook!)

Her dad had asked her when we called him if we were going out to celebrate and I thought no. But Jenn said yes! I was surprised.

I didn't want her to tell me where, so later I gave her my phone when a friend asked me where we were celebrating. While she texted that friend back, my phone beeped with more text messages. She said, "Oh let me answer these, so you don't know about Yankee Doodle thing." (Yankee Doodle Tap Room  is a great quiet bar in the middle of Princeton, where we often go.)

She didn't even realize that she gave it away until I pointed it out. Haha!

Friends made us a poster and Princeton UMC gave us cookies

We aren't doing engagement rings, so she had two ring pops for us to wear out!

We celebrated with over 25 friends. She had been planning with my friends for a couple weeks! I am amazed that no one told me. I saw two friends earlier that day who knew and they kept it a secret from me. Actually when I saw them, I almost told these two friends that I thought Jenn was going to propose to me that night.

It was great to celebrate with friends on a joyous occasion!

Four- Next Steps

We don't know dates or definite plans. The first step is to write my Friends Meeting a letter asking for a clearance committee to be married under their care, which is the standard procedure for Quaker marriages. Our wedding will have Quaker and Methodist elements, honoring the traditions we come from. We will keep everyone informed.

Out celebrating at the tap room

I love Jenn with all my heart and I look forward to loving her every day for rest of our lives. We are continuing on our journey together! I feel like the luckiest person alive!

One key to our relationship is communication. We have talked in some way either by phone, over Skype, or in person every day since March 26, 2011, the day before we started dating. We have talked on days we have been busy with finals, on days when we have been mad at each other, on days when we are traveling far away from each other (like in the mountains of California), but we still make time for each other and to hear about each other's day. I look forward to spending my life with Jenn!

Update About Life

I wrote a letter to my home church, Columbia Friends Meeting, updating them on how seminary is going so far and my life. I thought others may want to read it too, so I edited it slightly for a wider audience. 

Dear all,

I want to update you all on how I am doing at Princeton Theological Seminary so far. This past year has been a year of learning and growing. At several points through the year, I felt challenged both by the mainline Protestant theology and being one of the most theologically liberal students here. At the same time, I missed being a part of a diverse religious community which I had grown accustomed to after attending Earlham College and then living in Washington, DC. But through these challenges, I have learned more about Christianity, leading me to more closely examine my own beliefs and deepen my faith. Some of the classes I have enjoyed the most have been Theology and Practice of Community Organizing, Critical Race Theory, Pastoral Care of Adolescents, and Models of Young Adult Ministry.

With the other Quaker student at the seminary and her husband, we have held meeting for worship one evening a week over the past year, whenever possible with the rigorous academic schedule. We have welcomed several visitors in the past year, including a local young adult who is new to Quakerism. We will start again in the fall, and we hope to attract more people from the seminary and wider community. At the same time, I have begun making connections with Princeton Friends Meeting. I look forward to spending more time with the meeting starting in the fall and helping them think about outreach.

As part of my field education, I have to intern at two sites. I decided to do both of my site placements outside of the Friends tradition because I wanted to see how other church bodies function. This summer, I am interning at Princeton United Methodist Church. As part of my duties, I am working with youth and young adults as well as running their social media outreach campaign. In the fall, I will work at an Episcopal campus ministry on Rutgers University campus in New Brunswick. I look forward to working with the campus minister on growing relationships with groups from other faiths and to encourage service among the campus ministry student population.

Last Sunday I preached for the first time on Amos 7 about the plumb line. The sermon was received well! I enjoyed preaching so much that I asked to preach more, so I will preach again on July 1 and August 5. I welcome your prayers as I plan these sermons. I will follow Friends tradition so I will have an elder with me when I preach.

In other news, Jenn moved to Princeton in late April, and we are glad not to be dating long distance anymore. She graduated this Spring with a Masters in Social Work degree and currently works at a farm for the season helping with their Community-Supported Agriculture (CSA) program. In the fall, she will look for a social work job. Lastly, at the start of this year, I joined the board of Quaker Voluntary Service. We are launching our first service house in Atlanta with seven young adult Quakers, and we hope to expand in the following years to other cities. It is very exciting!

In service & peace,

(signed)

Greg