The Need for Intimacy in Quaker Worship

I wrote this piece for The Canadian Friend Summer Youth Issue, which is being mailed to Friends across Canada and beyond this week. 

Do we know our fellow worshippers? Do we know the people with whom we are filling Christ's request for His presence in the Book of Matthew chapter 18? Christ says in 18:20, " For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them"

The Canadian Friend Summer Issue Cover

Often our monthly meetings do not function as a close caring group of Friends. I attended a large meeting for well over a year and one day during worship I looked around the room to count the names of people who were there. Even though I attended regularly and was active in organizing the Young Adult Friends, I was embarrassed that I only knew half of the names of the people gathered that day. After attending another Meeting regularly for six months, I was called by a member of the Outreach committee and was asked if I was still attending worship. Even though I have a more positive experience with this particular monthly meeting and had knew most of the community, I had never met the caller. Furthermore when I asked the clerk of the meeting if she could point out the person, she could not recall who this woman was.

Recently, I read an article in Friends Journal recommending that the Religious Society of Friends talk about having a testimony of intimacy. I agree with the need to talk about intimacy in our community, but this Friend referred only to sexual intimacy.

I utterly reject using intimacy to mean only romantic relationships. By relegating this word to just mean one kind of relationships, to mean just one of its definitions, we are losing a valuable aspect of our community. When worshipping together was considered a criminal act, early Quakers know what being intimate with each other meant. Then during our Society's isolationist period - in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries - when Quakers lived in their own communities away from others, they knew each other and set up ways to monitor each other. This is why we have traveling minutes and marriage certificates. Both of these traditions were introduce partly as ways to watch over people to make sure that our collective faith stayed pure. Friends were definitely involved with each other in an intimate manner.

I am definitely not arguing that we go back to our isolationist period, but our spiritual ancestors definitely knew who they worship with every First Day. Do we? Can you name everyone in Meeting on Sunday? If so, do you know what their recent struggles and triumphs are?

Quakers do not believe in outward forms of sacraments. Rather, we believe in sharing the holy communion inwardly with each other. Through waiting worship should be offering each other the proverbial bread and wine. It is a communal experience. If it isn't, why do we gather each week? Why pay for the upkeep of our Meeting Houses? Instead we could just stay at home and mediate alone. Sharing God's body with fellow worshippers each Sunday is an intimate act. Do we treat each meeting for worship as a sacred time? Do we come to meeting for worship expecting to be changed through this weekly time for sharing inward sacraments with each other?

One of my favorite meeting for worships happened in the aftermath of Superstorm Sandy that hit the eastern coast of the US last October. The Sunday after Sandy hit, the Meeting House was still without electricity. Yet we gathered on a rather cold morning. We huddled together around the fireplace for an hour of waiting worship. Our bodies were touching as well as our souls as we gathered in God's presence. That day, I felt a part of this worshipping community in a whole new way.

By the next Sunday, the electricity to the Meeting House was restored and we returned to our usual seating pattern spread throughout the room, with two or three on a pew, instead of a dozen. The only people who sat close together were couples and families. Months later I still miss the intimacy I felt that one cold Sunday morning as we huddle together simultaneously seeking the warmth of the fire and the Holy Spirit.

How can we reclaim intimacy within our faith community, before we just become strangers who gather together for personal time of mediation?

Living Water is Available to All

I wrote this for my preaching class at Princeton Theological Seminary and I preached it this week. I wrote it with my classmates in mind, but it is a message for everyone to hear.

The scripture is John 4:1-26

When I was nine years old, I went to an annual family church camp that we went to every summer. One afternoon I was hanging out with some slightly older kids at the camp. The only reason I clearly remember my age is because the older kids wanted to go on a walk without me, so they told me that only people who were double digits in age could go on that particular walk. I was disappointed. I remember thinking, "But I will turn 10 in two months," as they went walking away and I was left out of a cool adventure: Going to the railroad tracks to throw rocks. I was outcasted because of something so trivial as my age, something I couldn't change about myself.

Often times I feel that is how the church feels to outcasts in our communities, even if we try to deny it. We say everyone is welcomed, but really is everyone welcomed at our churches? Would the town outcast be welcomed at your church like any other person? How would we end up acting if a woman, who reeks of cat odors, comes in for the 11 o'clock service? Would we give her the same time or attention that we give the matriarch of the family who comes to church each Sunday and sit in the fifth bench? Do we openly invite these people in and offer them grace?

In the scripture, we just heard, Jesus shows us what it means to really invite someone into the church. He offers grace and the Living water to a Samaritan woman. She is an outcast and we do not exactly know why she is an outcast. But she is at the well at a rather unusual time. We know that she has had many husbands, so that may be a reason. Maybe this town was her husbands' family town and the family despises her now that her husbands are gone. Let just say dealing with in-laws is not always easy, right? Whatever happened to her, it is clear that she is not part of the in-crowd in this small town. She has internalized this: Why would anyone want to have anything to do with me, much less a stranger hanging out by the well?

This Lenten season I have devoted myself to writing about my anger and with the source of this anger. Through therapy over the last year, I have found out that I have had a lot of anger towards God and Christianity. Growing up I was picked on by Christians and saw others being picked on by Christians. "Why did God let this happen?" I thought. Their actions didn't look like God's Love to me. I started to internalize the taunts and the mistreatment I faced. I thought that God hated me and gave me this impediment for some sort of misdeed I did in a past life. Why else would God give me a speech impairment? Why else would God do this to a kid? I remember crying at night when I was young and saying, "Why me? Why God?" just wanting a clear answer yet never receiving one. I felt like the Samaritan woman at the well. I felt outcasted.

In the last year, I have realized that, even through the painful times, God was/is always with me. I stand here today bringing the word of the Lord by God's grace alone. There were times, I thought about leaving the faith. During these dark times, I doubted myself and what I had to offer the world. There were times when I couldn't feel loved by anyone, but now I know that God and my family always loved me. They all loved me even when I was a difficult person to be around, in the midst of an angry rage. When I felt alone, the Living Water was still available to me. God did not give up on me because, like the woman at the well, I did not immediately understand what God was offering me through Jesus. God was still there when I decided to come back and accept what was being offered to me. Now I do not wonder why I am the way I am. I see my life as a gift, not a daily burden. I have stumbled along the path to God, but God has always been waiting to receive me.

Jesus shows us that the living water is available to all that seek, to all despite who they are, even if they are an outcast or feel outcasted. Before this scene in the Gospel of John, Jesus had only encountered other Jews and the disciples did not fully grasp how far Jesus' grace extended. After this scene with the woman at the well, the disciples are surprised, "What are you doing, Jesus, with that woman? We went to get some meat and now you are talking to an outcast?" Jesus was showing them and is showing us through His actions that Love, Grace, and the Living Water are available to all, not just a select group at a select time. It is available to people we meet in everyday life, whether it is in a church, at a well, on the street, or in the check-out line, even if they are the worst sinner. If they ask for forgiveness or the Living Water, it is always available to them. Even if they do not understand at first, what is being offered, it is still available to them. Jesus could have left the woman at the well after her first misunderstanding by saying, "I give up! Bye! That was your only chance." But Jesus does not give up, He remains there with the woman in her time of need and continues to offer a new path for her. God has offered us that same thing time and time again. Do we have that kind of patience for others?

That is the good news! The Living Water is always available to anyone who thirst, anyone, despite their pasts, despite our misdeeds. Although our churches can often function like a social clique, where only certain people are welcomed, we can change this. We can reform the church with our leadership saying that anyone and everyone is welcomed. We can choose to treat everyone like they are a child of God. Jesus shows us in the Gospel of John that the Living Water is open to all, who thirst, not just the privileged, or the morally righteous or even the people whose ages are in the double digits.

In our future lives we need to be asking ourselves: How can we spread this vital message in our ministries? How can we change our churches to better reflect Jesus' message at the well, that everyone is welcomed for a drink, no matter what. The church needs to make this change and we are the ones God have called to this path. If we allow ourselves to be God's implement, God will use us to continue offering the Living Water to everyone who wants it. Just as Jesus sends out the Samaritan woman to go tell all about what happened at the well, God is sending us out to tell all about God's love and forgiveness that is available to anyone.

Are we ready for this challenge?

Sermon "Neighborly Love"

This is the second sermon that I preached last Sunday at Princeton United Methodist Church as part of my summer internship. (You can read the first one "Have We Crossed the Line?" here and my last one will be on August 5th on the Gospel of Luke.) Since the first one went so well, I asked to preach one additional time. I have wondered a lot about the contradiction between God giving land to the Israelites and Jesus' command to love our neighbors, so I decided to preach on it. 


Also I had an elder in attendance for this sermon, following Friends tradition.


This sermon is based on Joshua 1:3-6 and Matthew 22:34-40


"Neighborly Love"

Won't you be my neighbor?

I have been thinking a lot about that question in the last few weeks since Scott sent out the link to the video of Mister Rogers remixed in the church e-newsletter. I do not remember watching Mister Rogers a lot growing up. What I know about the show is very little. I think I learned his famous question from one of the few times that I did watch the show.

Anyway I absolutely love this question. Won't you be my neighbor? It was a leading question when Mister Rogers asked it. How could anyone say no to a kind man, like Mister Rogers? How could anyone respond with No I don't want to be your neighbor. Leave me alone! That question is like the command that Jesus gives His followers about loving their neighbors. It is an invitation to something greater.

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus offers to the people two commands: Love God and Love your neighbor as yourself. Again this sounds so simple, doesn't it? It is almost a checklist for us to do: Buy Milk check, mow lawn check, love God check, love your neighbor check. Such simple words but it is such a hard task, especially loving that nosy neighbor next door. But at the same time what does loving your neighbor mean in the larger context outside of just meaning the people living next to you? How can we love people who live in a different context than us?

Something I have struggled with is to put Jesus' simple, yet challenging command to love our neighbor in Matthew with the proclamation that God made to the Israelites in Joshua 1. There God promised the land to the Israelites and led them there. But the land was already inhabited by other people, the Canaanites. We are told conflicting stories about the Canaanites, but in the end we never hear about what finally happened to them. Biblical scholars have several different theories about what happened to the Canaanites. The theories range from the Israelites destroying them all to the Canaanites co-existing with the Israelites peacefully. What is the Canaanites' side of the story of the Israelites coming into the land? What would that story sound like?

This week we will celebrate the 236th anniversary of our nation's independence. A nation that was founded with the claim that God meant for the Europeans to have this beautiful land that they had “discovered" by accident a couple centuries before even though there were already millions of people living here. Even at the time of the founding of this country, most of the land, that we now know as the United States, was still inhabited by Native Americans.

Our country's story is told from the European's side, from the side of the conquerors. What is the Native American story of the United States' Independence? What would that story sound look? Unlike the Canaanites, we actually know the history of the Native Americans. I will give you a hint: It is not pretty. That story involves lies, broken treaties, slavery, and massacres. It is still not pretty. Some of the worst poverty in the nation exists on the Native American reservations. Also there are high suicide rates among Native American teens, just to give you a small glimpse into the current situation on the reservations.

Don't get me wrong! This is not a "Shame on the United States of America" sermon on the Sunday before Independence Day. I love this country. I have traveled this country countless times by car, bus, train, and airplane. Some of the most beautiful places in the world are within our borders. I love the diversity of our land and the people who live within the borders. We have a lot to be proud of about our country and our freedoms. But at the same time, I am not going to sugarcoat our country's history and ignore the problems we have had and still have as a nation.

As Christians we should not shy away from this history. Because if we do, we are bound to keep repeating the same history over and over. As a people yoked together in Christ we commit to be honest about our sins, both personal and corporate. Let me be honest. We are not a perfect people. I am definitely not perfect, so let not pretend to be perfect. In not pretending to be perfect, I mean admitting our sins that we do to each other and our neighbors out of contempt, jealousy, and even carelessness. The good news is that we can strive to be better, strive to something greater especially as a corporate body gathered together in Christ's name.

That is the radical message of Jesus. He called on His followers to break out of the religious complacency existing in the First Century. Jesus showed His followers a new path! He advocated for His followers to hang out with the least of the society, their own neighbors, while at the same time challenging them to live to a much higher level. And that challenge is still before us today.

What does that mean for us right now? What does loving our neighbor in the 21st century look like? In what ways can we live out Jesus' command today?

As a church, we have started by inviting our neighbors in for meals on Wednesdays; we help each other during times of need. Right now 51 members of our congregation family are traveling to work with our neighbors in West Virginia, while another member is in the Democratic Republic of Congo working with our neighbors there. What more can we do? Do we know our neighbors of different faiths, our neighbors around us who believe differently than we do? How do we as a congregation reach out to them?

I think this all starts with an invitation to join us at the table, an open invitation to sit with us on an equal level to get to know each other. A little like what will happen when Susan invites us to the communion table later in the service. Mister Rogers' simple yet powerful question, "Won't you be my neighbor?" provides a great way to invite others in for fellowship and learning about each other. 

Isn't that a great way to start relationships with our neighbors and live out our faithfulness to Jesus' second command in the book of Matthew?